11.15.2010

dear new dad

It is OK that you also gained weight. You were on an emotional roller coaster too, and we know it is hard to resist getting something for yourself when you are making a food run for your pregnant lady.

It is not OK that you think you get a brand-new gun because you are having a girl.

Do not ever ask these questions: “When are you going to start working out?” “Why are you so tired?” “Are you going through postpartum?” “Can we have sex?” or “Why didn't [blank] get done?”

You can say these things: “You can't even tell you just had a baby,” “Let me take the baby, and you go rest,” “You are tougher than I am — you just gave birth,” “I love you,” and “You are a wonderful mom.”

It is definitely OK to come home and offer to cook dinner, clean or take the baby for awhile.

It is not OK to ask when her stretch marks are going to go away.

Instead of saying, “It's OK, you just had a baby,” simply tell her, “You're not fat.”

It is not OK to imply that your work day was harder than her day just because she stays home. You may be tired, but she is exhausted.

Give the new mom time off. Tell her to go to a movie with friends or take her out to dinner without the baby. This will keep her sane.

Do not freak out when baby starts to cry and try to just hand her back to mom. You have an equal part in parenting — do not forget that.

Be patient. Everything takes longer with baby in tow.

Be understanding. Your fishing and hunting trips will be less frequent. Yard work, garage cleaning and any other plans you have for after work may have to be put on hold. Please do not say that you need time to work out, be alone or just be with the guys. That will spark a big battle.

Love your baby and your lady. Shower her with kisses, flowers, and mostly, support.

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