where is the libido?

After he witnessed us farting and burping during pregnancy, saw our bodies completely change, and watched all the “ew’s” and “ahh’s” of labor – he is now ready for some “like old times” romance.

However, after pushing a baby out, gaining tons of weight, and taking care of a baby around the clock, our libido is about as hot as that mucus plug.  And yes, having a baby will make for a lot of new ground to cover with your partner, which means disagreements.

Men, listen here. It is easier than you think if you want to rekindle that passion. It is called, “Help.” There is nothing hotter than a man coming in the door and taking the baby, cleaning the house or cooking dinner. Yes, you doing the dishes turns us on!

It is not like we don’t want that newlywed excitement back, but we also want our bodies, confidence and time back. So, shower us with compliments and support, and we will shower you with love. And while we are talking about showering, try not to ask why we haven’t done that in a few days.

Mommas, we have work to do too. Your man is not totally out-of-line by requesting some attention. Your mate needs to be reassured you still love him and need him, just as he loves and needs you. Yes, baby makes three, but there is still a need for just you two.  

In addition to feeling pains physically, it is no news to anyone that a new mom has emotional pains as well and will most likely go through post-partum. Moms, don’t be ashamed of having post-partum. Men, never accuse your woman of having post-partum—it is worse than asking her if she is PMS-ing. 

Do what you need to do to boost that confidence. For me, exercise and getting a routine down did it. Not only will exercise shed those post baby pounds, but it is also known to raise libido—not to mention provide a little “me” time.

Mostly, talk to your partner. Tell each other your feelings and wants. Take time listening and try not to be combative going back in forth with, “Well if you did this, I would do that,” or “If you didn’t do that, I wouldn’t do this.”

Date night is also essential. My husband and I have a date at least every other week with just the two of us. Sometimes you don’t even have to go out and get a babysitter. After putting our baby to sleep, we will stay up listening to music, watching a movie or playing Scrabble- sometimes until almost eleven! Phew.

So the libido isn’t lost, just as the rest of the “old” you isn’t lost after you give birth. You will lose the weight, get rid of the stretch marks and once again, have good sex. At least that is what I keep telling myself.  


Tatted Mom said...

Found you on Bloggy Moms and love your blog. I see you are just starting out, so I wanted to stop by and say hey!!


Jenn at Sweet T Makes Three said...

"try not to ask why we haven’t done that in a few days."
Ok, glad I'm not the only nasty one. Don't even wan't to admit how long it's been since I've washed my hair! New follower from Bloggy Moms. Sweet T will be 4 months in a couple weeks. ;)

Hanna said...

HI there! I am your newest follower from the blog hop! Lovely blog:) You can find me at www.bouffeebambini.blogspot.com
I really enjoyed your post! I TOTALLY feel you! I got pregnant AGAIN when my son was only 5 months old so now I'm 8 months pregnant and have a one year old to take care of. My husband and I hardly got any time together before I was huge and disgusted with everything again! My poor husband has been sleeping on the couch for a year;( Oh, the joys of motherhood! Hang in there! I'm doing my best:)

B said...

I'm your newest follower - this post hits home. Even though A is almost 11 mos old, breastfeeding and PPD meds have KILLED my sex drive. I was actually going to post something about this just the other day!

Glad to have you as a follower!

kristen said...

haha! I can so relate to this!


p.s. new follower via blog hopping.

Miranda LaRaut-Hartrampf said...

I love this post!! I have to get my husband to read this!

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