dear mom-to-be

Being pregnant is far scarier than being a mom. You look like a whale, are crying all the time, you get no sleep which turns you into a delusional, hormonal mess and well, there is something growing inside of you.

Pick who you want to talk to about labor. Pick the moms that had it pretty easy and don’t listen to the bad stories.

Don’t read all the books and please do not Google everything that could go wrong. I believe there is actually too much information in the world about what to do and what not to do.

Trust me, you won’t get bored. You might get a little stir crazy when they are a newborn because they can’t quite interact with you. By the time they are four, five onto six months, their personality blossoms. Pretty soon they will be doing new things every day, moving around, wanting to play and not wanting to go to sleep.

You’ll feel satisfied. I am a career woman and I love working, but being a mom is even more satisfying. Teaching a dance class, writing freelance, blogging, etc… all those things keep me in check that I can still use my education and work while not relying on day care. I am a mom first.

You’ll still have a life. Be easy going. Let your baby go to grandmas for the weekend or even just for a night so you and your husband can get away or just have a quiet dinner. Or arrange a girl’s night or girl’s weekend and have baby do some bonding with her dad. Just arrange it far in advance and do daily reminders to dad.

Speaking of dad, he is a huge help. But like a lot of men, we have to ask. They can’t just read our minds. Seeing that I was running my days short and not being able to do my hobbies (even if that is just an hour of watching television or catching up on celeb gossip), my husband came up with the brilliant plan that Tuesday’s are my night off. He will come home from work, take the baby, cook, do the dishes and put her to bed. I can do whatever I please whether that is going out to dinner with the ladies or just sitting on the couch.

You’ll never be “ready.” For the women waiting to feel a magical ping in their uterus saying “I’m ready!” Forget about it. You’ll never be ready physically, emotionally or financially. But guess what, it somehow works out.

No, you probably won’t get to sleep in anymore. But it will all come naturally and will definitely get better. Somehow you zombie through newborn stage and before you know it, they are sleeping. Getting only four hours of sleep sounds worse than it is. Moms just adapt to it. You won’t sleep through her cries- you will wake up to every little movement she makes or have instincts that tell you to go check on her.

Being a mom is absolutely the greatest thing. It is exhausting, emotional and expensive, but the wonderful things that it is outweigh those other things. Mom’s like to complain about not getting sleep, their kid throwing tantrums or going to the doctor and waiting three hours (I am one of them), but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

Be scared. It is totally normal and expected. But like I said before, don’t do anything to make you more freaked out by reading too many books, watching those unrealistic TLC shows or listening to someone that is negative about labor or mommy hood. Earmuff it.


NikkiDarlin' said...

Be prepared to see and deal with more poop than you ever imaged. I learned the hard way.
Great post!

momphotographer said...

great post!
When I got pregnant I was trying to read as little as possible. Only when I felt something strange or when I didn't know if I should/shouldn't eat/drink something... I was just checking things out when I had to, but more than that?! NO!!! ;-)
And I was the happiest end healthiest mom-to-be. I was frustrated with all the peeing-every-hour thing, but at the end of my pregnancy I was doing it sleeping ;-) I mean I didn't pee in bed... just was acting like a sleep walker... didn't even remember that I peed 5 times last night... ;-)
It's really not that bad... Actually I enjoyed it... A LOT!

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