a breakup letter

Dear Doctors, 

I am sorry I can’t say this in person, but your high stature makes what I am going to say uncomfortable for just a little person like me. To be frank, it is just not working out.

I know that you are probably laughing right now or not thinking I am serious, but I am. 
 All this time, I have felt like I needed you and that you really care, but you don’t. All you do is bring me down and point out everything that is or could be wrong with me. You don’t ever notice my new haircut or outfit – let alone, give me a compliment.  

When I call, I only talk with your automated voice machine or secretary. When we have a date, I have to wait hours. Once I get to see you, I feel as though you are rushing me along in order to get rid of me! I also never feel like you are completely honest with me. Are you really listening to me? Or are you just nodding and thinking about something else? I feel like you keep drugging me up so that I don’t realize my true feelings.

I know deep down that you do care a little and I know that you only want what’s best for me, which is why we have to breakup. I was working really hard at this relationship and thought it could workout, but then I started realizing how much money I spend on you and how I hardly get anything in return. You don’t want me, you just want my money.

Isn’t this supposed to be a give and take relationship?

Now I am broke and still feel like crap.

I know that you will do just fine without me, in fact – you will most likely forget about me.


PS: Also, please tell your friend Mr. Insurance Company to stop sending me mean letters. 


NikkiDarlin' said...

HAHAHA You poor thing. I'm so sorry to hear about your break up. There's plenty of fish with PHD's in the sea. LMAO!!

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