2.01.2011

hot topic


The topic of ways parents discipline children is a controversial one. Normally I do not write a blog unless I am pretty sturdy in my stance, but I am a little back and forth on this one. 

On the news this morning, a woman who was on Dr. Phil's "Help me control my kids" episode has been charged with child abuse by showing a home video of herself using hot sauce and a cold shower to discipline her children. People were fuming saying that this was abusive, torture and that she should go to jail. The woman is now regretting going public about her private disciplining methods never thinking it would come to this. The government is even thinking about taking away her children who are adopted!

http://theclicker.todayshow.com/_news/2011/02/01/5966711-experts-dr-phils-hot-sauce-mom-mixed-punishment-and-torture
Yesterday, I watched a Desperate Housewives episode that showed Bri babysitting Lynette's children and spanking them. Lynette was furious that Bri spanked her children proclaiming "We don't believe in hitting our children." Yet, Lynette will use a spanking threat - but never actually does it. I would argue this is the same thing as actually spanking.

Moreover, friends of ours came over recently. Their child was in t-ball and they were upset with the new rule of not keeping score. "Everybody wins" is what the coaches want and they couldn't believe how many parents backed this. 

I think we are protecting our children far too much. I do believe that spanking or other forms of discipline out of anger should be considered abusive. However, if the parent is calm and believes strongly in their forms of discipline, I say "leave them alone!" Really, jail for hot sauce? 

My husband would have to pull weeds when he got in trouble. This is probably considered abusive now...oh such torture. I probably shouldn't have said anything. Child Services is going to go looking for my mother-in-law.

In the olden days, you would have been casted out if you didn't spank whether it be with a belt or hand. I know plenty of people that were spanked as children and have turned out just fine. 

Does this mean I can go to jail for the times Audrey fell off the couch? Pretty soon, parents won't be allowed to say "no" to their children. We will need to say things like "Please don't do that." Putting them in time out will be considered psychologically damaging.

I just think we are pushing this a little too far. If they are not seriously hurting the child and/or not using their discipline with anger, than I say "let it be." Parents have the freedom to parent how they see fit. 

How will our children learn about right and wrong or winning and losing if we don't allow score keeping at baseball games or refuse to show discipline?

4 comments:

NikkiDarlin' said...

wow touchy subject. I believe the way you do. Children need some way to learn. I got spanked as a child and that is what kept me in line. I'm not saying I will spank my daughter. Corner time is doing good for now.

Randi said...

While I am not personally a fan of spanking, I think in some situations and some kids, it's necessary. Every child is different and needs disciplined individually.

The keeping score thing is crazy to me...aren't we just setting our kids up for failure? (Or rather, not allowing them to learn that failure is just a part of life.) When they grow up and start applying for colleges or jobs, they are not always going to get it. This doesn't mean we have to teach them 'win win win', but a healthy balance is needed!

FrenchOnion said...

I absolutely think we as a society are babying our children too much. The no-score thing, that's ridiculous. What happened to the days of, just 'Trying your best' and 'Winning isn't everything'. I think children need to learn to appreciate competition. If 'everyone wins' (and I mean this outside of T-Ball mostly) what is going to be their drive to being the best that they can be? I think that installing the 'everyone wins' mentality is more detrimental than losing a game. If everyone wins, why does anyone have to try?

As for the hot sauce lady, She shouldn't have broadcasted it, but there much worse things that could be done. We should be going after people who actually beat their children instead of the hot saucers, the soapers, and the spankers.

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